Today I will be busy.

I want to sleep more because I know I have to work today. You come to me at 5am but I had only gone to bed at 12am so I am very tired. You come to me while I lay in my bed, I am wishing that you would go back to sleep. You creep in with us and mutter and poke me in the nose and put your face up close to mine in an effort to wake me up to play with you, to pay attention to you. You cuddle in and I smell the fresh scent of the shampoo that you wash your hair with and feel your warm breath on my cheek.

Today I am busy.

I hurry you along, up and out of bed, so that we can get ready for the day. We brush your teeth and your hair and I press you to fetch your clothes. I hurry you to put on your clothes and try to stop you from pouring too much muesli in your bowl. I hurry you to the car to take you out to your Nonno so I can start my work. I start working, both grateful for work and feeling guilty at enjoying time and space to myself. I wonder what you are doing today. Are you missing me? Are you thinking of me?

Today I was busy.

When we pick you up, you throw your small body from Nonno to mine, pressing yourself onto me and into me and poke my eyes and face. You laugh as I admonished you for wanting to rush straight out the door and into the car so you could squeal in delight as we drive down the freeway and to home. Why rush away? You want to go and you want to go now.

Today I was so busy.

I bustle you inside, quickly make our dinner and press you upstairs after a quick play time in the garden. I want you to have your bath so that you would go to bed early and I can have a work meeting. I hear you crying upstairs for me and am irrationally annoyed (fleetingly) before I hear you being comforted by Daddy. I hear you protesting when you realise I am not coming upstairs to see you to bed because I am busy. But you don’t complain too much, you snuggle into Daddy, happy to have your stories.

Today I was far too busy.

I come to see you after lights are out and you are lying there with your eyes wide open and waiting for me. After I say good night you kiss me and lay in bed quietly. I retreat downstairs, only to hear you call out for me again. I wearily climb the stairs and take you in my arms. You climbed into my lap and insist on me lying down with you. I wonder why you are not sleeping, aren’t you tired my little boy? You cuddle into me with a few toys. As I lie with you I realise how stuffy the room is. Are you hot? “Hot, Mama” is the answer. Do you want the air con on? “No, Mama, no”. After watching you twitch around for a while and looking at me I roll over and wind open the window and watch the soft breeze move over your hair. I watch as your eyes slowly drift shut and I realise as I look at your little face that I am the first thing you saw this morning and the last thing that you saw tonight.

And I realise that today was a day that I missed. I missed seeing you having fun at the dairy park. I missed seeing you as you were lulled into a brief nap after a long walk in the sunshine today. I didn’t see you slide down the slide so fast that you flew off the end. I missed seeing you cut up strawberries on your own, ask your Nonno for juice and cuddle into him for a story after eating one too many chocolate biscuits.

Tomorrow is a day that I will be with you, my darling little boy. Thank you for waiting for me today even though I was not very good at waiting for you. For you I will make all my tomorrows our todays. Tomorrow I will do better.


Puzzles at 33 months and our secondary shelf

We have a secondary shelf upstairs which Joshua works at before bath, in the mornings after getting up and waiting for me to shower or before going for a nap.  We found it necessary as we have upstairs and downstairs at our house and I found that Joshua enjoyed working nearby while I am busy.


I have tended to put materials on this secondary shelf that I do not have available downstairs. Puzzles are a good way to fill in some time and engage Joshua for a reasonable period of time in a small area that I have upstairs. I have reserved the bigger items such as art and blocks for downstairs. One of the puzzles is reasonably basic for Joshua but he loves shapes and geometry so this is there for him to work on. He has mastered the leaf and fire engine but the life cycle of a butterfly puzzle is proving to be challenging for him, the multiple layers are enough to keep him working hard.


I have also made available some items for counting – Joshua’s number book and the 1-5 discs stacking puzzle – as Joshua has shown interest in counting and letters (letter book) as well as some cars and tools and some Duplo.

Realistic Animal puzzles collage

1. Life Cycle of a Bee
2, Life Cycle of a Turtle

We have recently added two new puzzles to our collection of the life cycle of turtles and life cycle of bees. Joshua is particularly enjoying the turtle puzzle, he is very drawn to sea life and our recent visit to the aquarium and the zoo have been great experiences for him. These puzzles are beautiful and realistic layered photo puzzles, it makes me wonder why toy makers and manufacturers don’t make more of these for children instead of abstract or cartoonish type puzzles and toys. If you are overseas they are quite hard to find, this is a UK based company but I did find the website here, there are links to where these retail from overseas.

Do you have a secondary work area for your child? If you have any puzzle recommendations I would love to hear them.

French Madeleines

French Madeleines - Montessori Life As We Know It

We are right in the middle of a practical life explosion. Joshua wants to do so many things himself and at the top of his list is baking. He has been going to his supplies area, digging out his bowl, getting out his wooden spoon, going to the cupboard and getting out flour and sugar and declaring “want to bake, Mama”.

I have been following a lovely blog run by Helene called French Foodie Baby. I LOVE this blog, Helene writes about all the lovely food she cooks for her little boy Pablo – and her family, everybody eats together. I have been following now for some months and the recipes on there are delicious! I highly recommend you go and check her out, I really enjoy her posts and she has such a wealth of information on introducing (tasty!) food to your baby. I picked out French Madeleines to bake with Joshua today as it is fresh, simple and toddler friendly.


1 cup all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
2/3 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1/4 cup butter
Pinch of salt
Seeds from one vanilla bean
Zest of one lemon
8-10 strawberries (cut up), or a handful of chocolate chips


1. Have your toddler get out all the utensils required for this exercise. We will need a madeleine tray (we have the Soffritto madeleine tray which we got from House homewares in Australia, overseas this one looks good), a medium sized bowl, wooden spoon, whisk, measuring cups, measuring spoons, wavy chopper and chopping  board. I always have Joshua put on his apron prior to starting baking.

2. Place the empty madeleine tray into the freezer. Do not skip this step, I researched a few recipes on madeleines and they all say to do this.

3. Melt butter in a small pan or in the microwave.

4. While you are preparing other parts you can have your toddler help prepare by cutting up the strawberries. Joshua has his chopping board and his wavy chopper and cut off the green stalks and chopped up the strawberries with his wavy chopper. (Australian supplier you can try is the General Trader or other shops that sell kitchen gadgets).

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Joshua cut the tops off the strawberries quite efficiently and then systematically chopped up all the strawberries into little pieces before transferring these to the little bowl.

5. In a bowl have your toddler whisk together flour, baking powder, salt and sugar.

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6. Have your toddler crack the eggs into the flour mixture and mix together with a wooden spoon.

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7. Add the melted butter, the zest and scrape the vanilla bean seeds. Mix, cover with plastic and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

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We took this opportunity to inspect the vanilla bean pod and to smell it before I cut it open and scraped out the seeds.  I highly recommend using the vanilla bean pod and not vanilla bean paste or extract. The flavour that it adds to the madeleines is amazing, I promise you the flavour is worth it.

8. Preheat the oven to 220°c (450°F).

9. Grease the madeleine pan. Have your toddler stir the strawberry pieces or chocolate chips into the dough. (Since this is two batches, place the remaining dough back in the fridge). We used strawberries today as we had quite an abundant supply on hand.

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10. Fill each shell about 3/of the way, and place in the oven for 6-8 minutes. This part needs an adult but I did have Joshua spoon a few of the madeleines into the tray. Watch them carefully, as they’re quick to burn, we did 6 minutes only and this was more than enough to cook the madeleines.  As soon as they’re golden and puffed up, take them out of the oven and remove from the pan. Let them rest on a kitchen towel and cool down prior to eating. You could dust these with a little icing sugar prior to serving.


These quantities will make about two batches, so if you have one pan, don’t forget to stick it back in the freezer before making the second batch.

I would love to try this in orange, they can also be made in vanilla, chocolate and lavender flavour. I enjoyed one of these with a cup of tea, these are such a lovely goûter (afternoon snack).

An interesting literary reference to madeleines was brought to my attention by Helene. She referred to this delightfully as “Madeleines de Proust”, an expression which refers to a vivid memory from childhood that is triggered by a taste or smell and refers to a passage written by Marcel Proust in his book Remembrance of Things Past. He uses the memories brought back by madeleines as a way to contrast involuntary memory with voluntary memory and says that voluntary memories can never be as complete as they do not bear the essence of the past. Isn’t it amazing the memories that are evoked through our senses? Our senses are so powerful, that’s why I believe that Montessori education and concrete learning experiences offered are so effective.

Art trays

20141116_Art Trays Collage High quality1. Crayons on paper (US supplier here)
2. Pencils on paper (US supplier here)
3. Dot markers on paper
4. Rainbow pencil
5. Pasting cupcake patties and natural materials on paper
6. Hole punching natural shapes
7. White marker on poster card
8. Metallic marker on poster card
9. Cutting poster card with scissors
10. Animal stamps
11. Charcoal on paper
12. Water colours on water colour paper
13. Oil pastels on paper
14. Spring play dough with cutters and rollers
15. Markers on paper
16. Transferring coloured water with a pipette (and using pipette to drop onto water colour paper)
17. Air dry clay with tools
18. Stencil shapes with pencil
19. Small spray bottle with water colour paints (or water with dye) on water colour paper
20. Bug rubbing plates and crayons

I was recently asked to do a post on what art trays we put out for Joshua. There are so many activities available to him now that we have a full supply of art materials on hand. We have made sure that all the materials available are good quality and beautiful to use.

We are experimenting with a few activities at the moment, the different mediums is always interesting. I put watercolours away for a little bit as Joshua seemed more interested in drawing but an increased interest painting has meant that I have put this back into rotation. I do leave pencils and crayons out generally so that Joshua can practice drawing and “writing” when he feels like it and has the opportunity to work on his own things during our quiet afternoons. A few of these trays are more recent as Joshua is now colouring in things so I felt that things like the bug rubbing plates would encourage and develop this skill further.

The transferring of coloured water from one glass to another is not strictly an art activity however I have listed it as we are mixing colours which I think it is important to introduce given we have been working with quite a few mediums. We have also done an activity where we have taken different colours and used the pipette to drop these onto paper in droplets, we liked the effect so much I hung it up above Joshua’s snack table to look at.

Cherry Clafoutis

I have been unwell the last few days so we have been home and Joshua is back into baking again. We made a cherry clafoutis that Joshua loved and was a great way to use up our stock of cherries, the first of the season here in Australia.

We are loving French recipes at the moment, French recipes are so delicious and so easy to make. Cherry clafoutis (pronounced kla-foo-tee) is a very traditional version of the French flan that is made traditionally with cherries. This recipe required a bit of preparation of the cherries but also was a great chance for Joshua to exercise his practical life skills – pitting the cherries, helping me wash them, pouring, scooping, stirring. I sourced this from French Kids Eat Everything by Karen Le Billon. Check out the blog recipe here.


2 cups (150g) pitted cherries or plums (or other moist fruit – we used just a little more as we like lots of cherries in our clafoutis!)
1/3 cup (75g) granulated sugar (white sugar)
1/cup (70g) plain flour
Pinch of salt
3 eggs
11/cups (360ml) milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon icing sugar for dusting


1. Pit the cherries.

2. Place the fruit in a bowl with half the sugar, stir well and set aside.

2014_11_14_IMG_76123. Preheat the oven to 180C. Grease a 9 inch (23cm) baking dish. We used a flan pan and this worked quite nicely.

4. In a large bowl, sift the flour with the salt and the remaining sugar. In a medium bowl, beat the eggs and milk to combine. Add the vanilla extract.

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5. Add the egg mixture to the flour mixture and combine well. Pour the batter into the dish and drop in the cherries as evenly as possible. If after pouring the batter you find that the cherries float around I would push them back into a more even spread.

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6. Bake for 40-45 minutes or until the top is firm and golden brown. Cool, then sprinkle with icing sugar. Serve immediately.

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I tried another method which is to bake this dish twice – bake a thin layer to the bottom of the dish, then add the fruit topped with remaining batter and baking until done. I found that this baked the clafoutis a little more thoroughly and evenly. I also recommend serving the clafoutis in the baking dish as it does not transfer well to other dishes. It puffs up in the oven and then sags a little – this is meant to happen so don’t panic when it does.

Just to note – the pan was completely cool when Joshua put his mouth toward it as he did in the picture above, I would never allow him near a baking pan that was hot, unsupervised.

What I love so much about this recipe is how easy it is to make and how toddler friendly it is. Joshua did most of the work for this, I helped by preparing the measured ingredients, putting the flan into/taking out the flan from the oven and slicing up to serve only.

Me Do It – Updated Art Space

Art Area We put a lot of thought into Joshua’s art space. We wanted the space to be have the following characteristics:

  • Independent.
  • Easily accessible.
  • Uncluttered – rather than burrowing through a mountain of materials there should be activities on hand available.
  • Provide new experiences and make available favourite ones.
  • All materials for one activity to be available in one tray.
  • Able to be supervised easily.

Realistically in our living space there is only one area where we were able to set this up. We have not set up an outdoor play/art area as we do not have a verandah or an undercover area but it would be lovely to consider if we moved. Having art outside is a nice idea but against this is that I would not be able to supervise this easily. 2014_11_01_IMG_7589 2014_11_01_IMG_7590 I have made changes to this area since we first set it up. Firstly Joshua’s independence has blossomed in the last year so I find that having this area set up for him to use independently is a must have, otherwise he will come to me continuously to find something to do. With this set up he is able to pick and choose what he wants to work on. I observe his likes and interests and rotate the materials in this area accordingly, I tend to rotate the materials when I notice he has not touched them in a week or more. I have also allocated, on a permanent basis, a minimum of 2 spaces on his work shelf to art trays. He can select one of these and work with it at his table. I usually have clay or play dough available and one other thing which is a medium he has been enjoying or a new one. At the moment we have black card stock and some metallic markers out. I am tending to leave pencils or crayons on his table in a small wooden pencil tray with some paper so that Joshua can draw whenever he feels like it. Please feel free to share your spaces for art, I would love to see them.

Toilet Learning – The End

Joshua's toilet station

I am often asked about Joshua’s toileting. He attends his Montessori classes and has never had a miss there and the teachers consider him ahead of most of the kids in his group in this area and were surprised at how good he was even at just on 2 years old. Am I surprised? Not really. Joshua was mostly done with daytime toilet learning at 20 months old. You can read about our toilet learning experiences here and here. I don’t see this as a race. To me he did not start or finish particularly early or late, he started and finished in his own time.

Our toilet learning experience was a pleasant one, it was difficult at some points but generally was not stressful. We have not rushed or hurried through. We have taken our time. Joshua has done things when he has been ready and has easily moved through night time learning at his own pace.

When I think back to when we started this process. I have observed others with their own paths with their children toilet training. Some wait until later. Some start earlier. What I have observed is the sensitivity to this topic. There are strong feelings about this topic. Why? Starting too early and we might damage a child. Start too late and we might cause irreparable damage or never learn. I don’t accept any of these arguments as a reason delay or not commence toilet learning as life experience – not as a chore to be gotten through. In our experience we have allowed Joshua to show us where he is at with his toileting. He showed sensitivity to soiled nappies and wetness from quite early on. We would talk about the toilet/potty and talk about one day when he would use the toilet.

So how did we do it? There is no special trick or easy path in my opinion. There is no set formula for how a child should or will learn. But here is a quick summary of what we did do before we commenced and before we made changes as Joshua progressed:

1. Observe.
I considered removing nappies altogether to progress Joshua’s learning. This allowed my observations to improve. When and what signs was Joshua showing before he needed to go? How frequently? Was there a time of day that he usually needed to go? I observed. I watched and waited. What did he seem to have the most awareness of? Initially with Joshua I noted he was quite aware of when he needed to poo and gave some very obvious signs that he needed to go. This was an interesting observation for me as many people I spoke to said that their child found wee much easier to get under control, possibly as they have more practice at it each day. Observation goes both ways – we have had an open door policy to Joshua and he has been observing us using the toilet since he was young so it is a natural part of daily life, like eating or sleeping.

2. Plan ahead and having a robust plan in place prior to making changes.
There were many considerations and each of the things I put in place were based on the observations I had made. I put down a waterproof sheet. I left the door open. I put up a night light in the bathroom. I considered putting a potty in Joshua’s room at night – we decided against this as we wanted Joshua to identify the bathroom as the place to go to the toilet, not his bedroom.

3. Be prepared to change your plans.
The best laid plans sometimes don’t work. Tweaking the setup or adjusting your approach – this includes your words as well as your actions – is expected. I found that Joshua responded best to having 2 stations available, one upstairs and one downstairs. The downstairs toilet is small so we could not fit a potty in there so we put it directly outside the toilet. We set up a little chair, a bucket for soiled clothing and a basket for fresh clothing and underwear. Upstairs we didn’t need a little chair as Joshua would sit on his step stool – which is just the right size for him to sit on – and change himself. I could also sit behind him to help him with his clothing or cleaning up. Fairly quickly it became obvious that Joshua would be better off on the toilet so we set up steps and an insert on the toilet so he could do so, he can climb quite well.

4. Know what values your family holds – generally as well as regarding toileting – and try to remember these when things get difficult.

One thing I refused to do is the “dream wee” which is when you place your child on the toilet before going to bed yourself (they are still half asleep) so that they go to the toilet and theoretically can last until morning. As Joshua sleeps through the night it felt wrong to me that we should wake him and part of his experience of learning is that he needs to learn to wake himself and take himself to the toilet when he needs to go. This has come to him naturally but has taken some time. He gets himself up, he comes to us to ask us to go with him as he likes company in the bathroom at night. He gets up to the toilet independently. He takes himself back to bed. For us it was important that he learn this in his own time and way, no matter how many times we told him that he needed to get up or wake himself up at night to go to the toilet it was a new and difficult thing to do. So we waited it out. We did not rouse him because it suited us for him to start or to finish toilet learning. We talked a lot about how good it would be to wear undies all the time and not nappies. And wouldn’t you know it he told us that he wanted to wear undies and not nappies at night and has understood that he needs to get himself up to go to the toilet – or ask for help. For us it felt wrong to wake him, for others this might not be the case. For others there are other factors that are more important to them – their child might drink a lot of water before bed so they feel that this is necessary for example. Whatever works for you.

Joshua has learned so much during toilet learning – but so have I. I have learned:

  • To trust and respect in a child’s ability to master his own body.
    Joshua is only 33 months old and it is hard to think that he was not yet 2 (20 months old) when he completed day learning and 30 months when he completed night learning.
  • To engage a child during day to day processes and doings.
    I see toilet learning as opportunities for bonding and love, not a time for resistance and power struggles. I am so glad that we have avoided this over toilet learning. I see Joshua exerting his will elsewhere and we can deal with that but toileting has never been an area where we have had issues. I remember watching and waiting for signs that he no longer wished to be changed on his back and clearly remember how much happier he was when we talked about and then started changes standing up.
  • Referring to body parts by proper names.
    Too often I have seen and heard parents referring to body parts by nick names. This process has enabled us to refer to body parts properly so there is no mistaking what we mean.
  • Patience.
    I don’t think I have ever gritted my teeth and asked for strength so many times while we were toilet learning. Patience to understand that Joshua was learning. Patience to clean up another miss. Patience because he didn’t ask for the toilet when he needed to go. Patience because he refused to go and wet himself. Patience to remember that Joshua is and was just a little boy and still learning and not to take the opportunities away due to my own frustration.
  • The impact of positive and negative language.
    All too often I observe people referring to a child’s miss as an accident. That in of itself to me has negative connotations and shame. I have observed parents getting angry and yelling at the child or at least raising voices and telling a child how disgusting it is that they didn’t go in the toilet. How smelly it is, how big a mess they have made. We tried very hard to make experiences positive for Joshua. We referred to them as misses but as opportunities to learn. Joshua learned to pull down his pants, pull up his pants, wash his hands, wipe himself. Sometimes he needed to help clean up too, put his wet clothes into a bucket for washing. This is important even when the child is in nappies and still small.
  • The importance of experiences.
    A child’s life is made up of experiences – both positive and negative. I believe those early experiences are so important and that it is my job to make Joshua’s early experiences the best that they can be. Toilet learning is an experience that he has had and one that he needed work at and master in his own time. This is not an adult led experience – I did not feel it right to let him get to *insert appropriate age* and then expect him to learn how to use the toilet immediately without any mistakes. As with anything like learning to walk, learning to feed himself, these things take time and deserve opportunities to master.
  • Kindness and understanding for toilet learning.
    So often I hear of about how painful and frustrating and what a chore toilet learning/training is. I found it hard. The washing and cleaning up from it was not hard but if you’re anything like me you like a clean house. Having gone through the process I can say that I look at others – whether they are doing toilet training or learning – and I think that there needs to be a lot more kindness for those going through it, the child and the adult. We hear about how the child missed again, or how the parent started too early or too late or other criticisms. Toilet learning is hard. For parents and children in earshot of such comments it makes it harder and more frustrating. A little kindness for this process is requested and so much more helpful. We found encouraging Joshua’s little friends through the process too so helpful. We all get there in the end.
  • Love.
    Seeing this small person go through such a challenging process makes my heart feel so big. Throughout all the obstacles and all the clean ups one thing remains. Love is needed for this whole process. Love, understanding and empathy for this little person who is growing up so quickly. All too soon it is over and before you the toddler is gone and the child is in his/her place.

So the answer is: we didn’t do it. We provided the opportunities to learn. The accomplishment is for Joshua alone. This has been his journey and we have been along for the ride to watch him progress from unknowing to knowing. Mastering his body and accomplishing self care and life skills. We are pleased that we have never offered him rewards to do this, that he does this for himself and no one else.